Dear God, (11.20.10)
My mom tells me that her husband and my older brother (in addition to his girlfriend) are interested in seeking a church! Now, if my twin sister could just get on board the Jesus boat, that would be probably one of the greatest things yet as well as a miracle. Although, I suppose praying on her behalf would help which I haven't done much of lately.
God, I'm trying to learn to "bloom where I am planted." I've been learning good (&encouraging) stuff lately. You see, I kind of feel a bit lost sometimes, not knowing what my future or even tomorrow holds in store for me. And I know I am not suppose to worry about that because you will care, protect, and provide for me as you always have. But I am human and so I tend to worry sometimes. (Please forgive me Lord).
In spite of that, you worked through my friend, Tricia L., teaching me that although I feel I am in a lost spot, I am really not. I am where I am suppose to be; where you want me. It is easy for me to lose sight of this truth, but I do; I pray for you please help me to not forget this truth.
I feel like much of my indecisiveness is from not knowing "my calling" or for what my heart breaks. Although, I often wonder if knowing that now will make a difference. I feel you will reveal such things to me in your time. I'm just a little impatient. Or, maybe deep down inside my heart has been broken and I might actually know what my calling is but I am just too blind to see it I guess.
I am not sure of this or anything really, but my prayer is that you break my heart for what breaks yours (in your time of course). Until then, I will do my best to be patient.
Signed, Yours Truly
Dear God, (11.20.10)
I am so confused with just about everything. At the moment, my relationship with my boyfriend is on my mind. Are we meant for each other? I feel that we are because we are so compatible and our relationship seems to be nearly "perfect." But I sometimes wonder if we still want the same things in life. I know: so many questions and so much worry. Just follow my heart, soul, and mind taking everything one day at a time.
Signed, Yours Truly
Dear God, (11.21.10)
Today in church, Pastor Taylor had us write a letter to ourselves when we were sixteen sharing knowledge we have now that we wished we knew then. What would we tell ourselves. At first, I wasn't going to do it because I forgot my note pad. But then Denise (sitting next to me) offered me some paper, and so I did it. And I am glad I did. It was a great exercise. It also helped me gain some perspective. It was one of those moments when you need to listen to your own advise. Anyway, I was glad I did it.
Signed, Yours Truly
Dear God, (11.21.10)
Having the apartment to myself this weekend really made me wonder about my desire to be independent and if I really want to enter into the "real world" on my own or might I actually want a roommate(s). Hmmm.....I don't know, just a few things I'm wondering.
Signed, Yours Truly
Dear God, (11.21.10)
It's kind of ironic how I am so uncertain about so many things, there's so much I don't know, and so much I'm scared of and worry about. Yet just the thought of you and being certain of you, I have this exciting happy feeling inside of me. And it's almost as if my fears and uncertainties disappear. I like that knowing and truly trusting in you not only feels so good but
is so good.
Signed, Yours Truly
Dear Boyfriend, (11.21.10)
I have so many mixed feelings about you. I love you, while at the same time I wonder "what is love?" "Is how I feel about/for you love?" Some days I am so certain of our relationship and a future life together, and other days I question if maybe our relationship is too perfect and too good to be true. Is this all a daydream, or could it be that God really was thinking of me when he made you.
I don't have the answers to any of these curiosities, including how you may feel about me. However, I can promise you this: where ever our relationship goes from here it will be because it is the Lord's will, just as he intended our lives to be.
I promise I will do my best as we grow in our relationship with each other and Christ.
XO- Signed, Yours Truly
Dear God, (11.22.10)
It's nearly 4am and I have yet to fall asleep. This has been happening a lot lately. I will admit tonight could be results of the coffee I had at 6pm on my way to work this evening. But what's the excuse for all the other nights? My internal clock is so messed up.
Lord, will you please help me find rest at night.
I might go crazy if this continues much longer.
Signed, Restless