a preview of adulthood...

Sadly, I was completely unproductive towards my goals during my two days off; however, I did have a most wonderful time with my family. =]
This Christmas break has been unlike any other Christmas break I've had before because I have to work. I have never had to work during Christmas break before. And while I don't like it very much at all, I am getting a preview of adult life in the working world that I will soon be joining after my college graduation in April. I'm thinking that time management skills are a must.
So, anyway, here's to all you working citizens whom do not have a month long winter vacation like college students.

Mistletoe kisses and holiday wishes!
~xo

Too Busy To Relax

I have a couple goals I want to complete during winter holiday and I am sad to say I have yet to even begin any of them :( I have been working soo much and haven't really had time to do anything when I am home other than catch up on sleep.
Although, I am happy to say I have the next two days off work. -Alleluia!!-
So, I am hoping very much to be productive toward my goals during the next two days. I am not sure how productive my efforts will actually be due to plans with my family, but I am definitely going to try. There will also be a second chance next week to be productive due to another two days off -woot! woot!-

Wish me luck...

P.S. Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

-xo

Agenda 2010

I have completed fall semester of senior year and I am so ready to enjoy winter holiday. I can assure you my holiday will be anything but boring. Even though I will be on vacation from school, I'm not going to be on vacation from the rest of my busy life. There is much for me to do in the month of December to wrap up the year 2010 and prepare for the year 2011.

My agenda for Decmeber 2010:

1. Work. Bath & Body Works basically owns me over break. And I am not complaining. I am so blessed to have a job and happy to have a job I like.
2. Complete peace corps application. This is also on my 2010 resolution list, but I have yet to check it off my list.
3. Read. I made a new reading list and would like to begin putting a dent in it over winter holiday.
4. Master degree inquiry. I have decided I want to get my masters. Now, I need to do some research to determine what, where, when, and how much.

Speaking of resolutions 2010, I am happy to say I have completed my list! I am not going to bore you by listing all of my resolutions, you can look in past blogs if your interested. But never the less, operation resolution list complete =)

Stay tuned, more to come to this blog near you :)

Stay With Your Pain (I'll Walk This Way)

Stay with your pain

When you experience the deep pain of loneliness, it is understandable that your thoughts go out to the person who was able to take that loneliness away, even if only for a moment. When, underneath all the praise and acclaim, you feel a huge absence that makes everything look useless, your heart wants only one thing- to be with the person who once was able to dispel these frightful emotions. But it is the absence itself, the emptiness within you, that you have to be willing to experience, not the one who could temporarily take it away.

It is not easy to stay with your loneliness. The temptation is to nurse your pain or to escape into fantasies about people who will take it away. But when you acknowledge your loneliness in a safe, contained place, you make your pain available for God’s healing.

God does not want your loneliness; God wants to touch you in a way that permanently fulfills your deepest need. It is important that you dare to stay with your pain and allow it to be there. You have to own your loneliness and trust that it will not always be there. The pain you suffer now is meant to put you in touch with the place where you most need healing, your very heart. The person who was able to touch that place has revealed to you your pearl of great price.

It is understandable that everything you did, are doing, or plan to do seems completely meaningless compared with that pearl. That pearl is the experience of being loved. When you experience deep loneliness, you are willing to give up everything in exchange for healing. But no human being can heal that pain. Still, people will be sent to you to mediate God’s healing, and they will be able to offer you the deep sense of belonging that you desire and that gives meaning to all you do.

Dare to stay with your pain, and trust in God’s promise to you.

growing up

It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are.

-ee cummings

It's amazing how much we learn and grow and change in such short amounts of time.

This year, I am learning a lot about growing up. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. It can often be very difficult trying to sort out your feelings and beliefs, and determine who you really are and what makes you, you. When you begin to feel who you are deep within your soul, it can be scary to let that light shine.
There are moments that mark your life, moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same again, and time is divided into two parts, before this and after this, now sometimes you can feel such a moment coming, that's the test, or so I tell myself at times like these: strong people keep moving forward anyway, no matter what they're gonna find.

Slowing Down

In the words of good ol' Pastor T "God us all kinds of things to get us to slow down."

This got me thinking.

As for Pastor T, God might be using the aging process to slow him down

But for me...??

At the moment, I am thinking God might be using my computer to slow me down.

I am so thankful to have a working computer! However, my computer is old and slower than turtles stampeding through peanut butter in January. Although the slowness of my computer often frustrates me, I sometimes think it is God's way of telling me I do not need to be on the computer right now, and that I should be making better use of my time. Which makes sense since computers seem to be about fast speed connection, right-here-right-now, and all that jazz. When I really just need to slow down; take some time to "smell the roses."

So I encourage you to take some time today (even if only five or ten minutes) to just "smell the roses" and have some you time. Whether that is sipping some hot coffee or hot chocolate, doing a few yoga stretches, reading a good book, whatever it is that slows and calms you.

And on the seventh day God rested. Find some peace and serenity in your day today. It's good for the soul.

Decisions, Decisions...

Oh my my! I have so many decisions to make:
What career do I want to pursue after graduation? Where shall I live after graduation?
How will I manage to pay my student loans, food, rent, etc.? Should I pursue a masters asap or take a break for a couple of years?
And the list goes on....and on!

Along with these decisions comes some stress and a wee bit of pressure from the people around me like my parents, family, boyfriend, and my boyfriend's parents. I am sure none of these people intend to put pressure on me, but it just kind of happens because I don't want to disappoint any of them and all that jazz.

However I can say this:
Though I'm freaking out a bit (okay, a lot) about life after graduation (which is only five months away), I am confident in my God. The Lord of heaven and earth, whose love for me out numbers the stars. I trust he will continue to care for me, guide me, and protect me in all my ways, as he has always done.

I want to encourage you, where ever you might be in your life, to know the Lord holds you in the palms of his hands with forever lasting love. Place your trust in him always for he will never fail you, because he loves you and "love never fails" (1Corinthians13:8).