Footprints

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.”

This is another story I really like. The Lord is always with us.

xo peace and love :]

The Star Thrower

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"

I like this story; It reminds me every person can make difference.
My prayer today is to encourage you to make a difference.
 xoxo Peace and Love <3

I want to follow you

I was going to blog about my desire for God to break my heart. But then, just as I began my blog, I was talking to my friend Ben. We had just learned of each other's interest in blogging. After sharing my blog address, I asked for his blog address continuing on to say "I want to follow you."
Immediately, the thought came to mind of Jesus telling his disciples to follow him. I thought wow, how easy it was to say that to my friend Ben. Also, how easily I have said that to God.
But as I look back, I see how challenging it really is to follow Jesus. To follow Jesus is definitely easier said than done. Jesus has big shoes to fill (...or should I say sandal's, haha). It hurts a bit to think that sometimes I haven't really tried all that hard to follow Jesus; that I give up and give in to Satan and temptation too easily, too many times.
As much as I desire God to break my heart for what breaks his, I realize that I need to be more adamant in following Jesus. Before God can break our hearts, we need to spend time with God and get to know him like we do our friends, boy/girlfriends, and husbands and wives. It is in getting to know God that we will know what breaks his heart. Then, there will be that moment in which your heart breaks and not only can you no longer deny God, but you breathe only to aid that break in your heart for God and his people. And through this God will chisel away at us, molding and shaping us into who he wants us to be. But do not be discouraged to come before the Lord as you are, because though God see us for who we can be, he loves us as we are.

...well, I guess I did get to blog about God breaking my heart after all :)

Share the love and be at peace!

Godly Men

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage." Theodore Roosevelt

I cannot even begin to tell what a blessing godly men are in this world. There is nothing I want more in a man than for him to truly be a man of God. I find it really saddening and heartbreaking to see how rare this quality has become in men today. Too many times in the past couple of weeks have I found myself in situations where I unfortunately crossed paths with men whom not only lack chivalry to the max, but whom behave like dastardly cads. And what makes this whole ordeal even worse is that there is nothing I can do but try to tolerate it. Quite frankly, I think this is a load of bull; I should not have to learn to tolerate men's unruly behavior. Men should be gentlemen, period.

Men, I encourage you, challenge you, ask you, and beg you to please be men of God, gentlemen who care for women and treat them with chivalry and courtesy.

Be at peace-

To grow to learn to love to live: Trusting without blessing (by jessi)

I'm not sure if I really trust God. Is it ok to say that out loud? I mean I say that I do, and I feel like I do...but I dunno. I read this little excerpt on utmost.org this morning (devotional thing taken from Oswald Chamber's book "My Utmost for His Highest") and I think it's messed up my entire perspective on life.

How are we going to get a life that has no lust, no self-interest, and is not sensitive to the ridicule of others? How will we have the type of love that “is kind . . . is not provoked, [and] thinks no evil”? (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God— such a trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want God Himself.

I cannot imagine not wanting God's blessing, to be honest. I think that is part of what makes Him God to me, and that's a little scary. Because my whole point here in this little life of mine is to live a good life and to love people, but I need God to do that. Because He is the source of goodness and love. I at least know that much. But to only want Him? To want Him alone and none of the perks that come along with knowing Him? That's hard to swallow.
To have simple, perfect trust in God - such a trust that we no longer want God's blessing, but only want God Himself.

That is the mark of a totally surrendered, loving, unselfish person. It is. When we can do that, we can love. We can love because we don't want anything in return. We can be goodness.

It's so funny that I am currently reading Job right now too. I mean this guy was totally devout. Totally trusted God. And then his home, his servants, his children and his health were taken from him. He no longer had any of the blessings of God. But God was still God. He is still the Creator of the universe. He is still the source of all things good and He, above all else, is holy and all deserving of praise. Even if we don't have breath in us to praise.

I'm really not sure if I could be like Job. Although, I hope I could be.

I'll walk this way: Journey with poverty (3)

If I could beg you to take nothing else away from this weird blog on poverty, at least take these words from Dorothy Day,

“At least we can avoid being comfortable through the exploitation of others. And at least we can avoid physical wealth as the result of a war economy. There may be ever-improving standards of living in the United States, with every worker eventually owning his own home and driving his own car; but our whole modern economy is based on preparation for war, and this surely is one of the great arguments for poverty in our time.”

I hope we all can start simply make decisions based on whether or not the products we are choosing to buy or consume is exploiting one of our brothers or sisters. Living in our individualistic culture does not help us think of how our actions affect each other. But oh, how they do. Truly, awareness is a gift and a miracle.

If you are so inspired to embrace and love your poverty but are perhaps afraid of the implications of that, maybe these words from Ms. Day will comfort you as well,

“In a world enslavement through installment buying and mortgages, the only way to live in any true security is to live so close to the bottom that when you fall you do not have far to drop, you do not have much to lose.”

Precarity is essential to poverty. But don’t be afraid, though the son of man had nowhere to rest his head, every hair on it was known to the Father. I pray you get to know Lady Poverty more intimately and love her dearly. I pray you see the face of Jesus when you see poverty being experienced by another and also when someone is helping you in your own poverty. And I leave you to meditate on this truth,
Whatever we have beyond our need belongs to the poor.

“At least we can avoid being comfortable through the exploitation of others. And at least we can avoid physical wealth as the result of a war economy. There may be ever-improving standards of living in the United States, with every worker eventually owning his own home and driving his own car; but our whole modern economy is based on preparation for war, and this surely is one of the great arguments for poverty in our time.”

I'll walk this way: Journey with poverty (2)

Sometimes I hate poverty. I wonder why in the hell I would have ever believed such a thing would be good or holy or rewarding or whatever it’s supposed to be. Because it’s not. It’s sucks, it’s awful and stupid and I hate it. Which, if you talk to someone who is really poor, they will most likely tell you the same. Dorothy Day makes a great distinction between inflicted poverty or destitution, and voluntary poverty. That no one should be inflicted with poverty but we all should choose it. Peter Maurin, founder of the Catholic Worker Movement, has a quirky little way of putting it in his Easy Essay called “Case for Utopia”:

The world would be better off
if people tried to become better,
and people would become better
if they stopped trying to become better off.
For when everyone tries to become
Better off
Nobody is better off.
But when everyone tries to become better
Everybody is better off.
Everyone would be rich
If nobody tried to become richer,
And nobody would be poor
If everybody tried to be the poorest.
And everybody would be what he ought to be
If everybody tried to be
What he wants the other fellow to be.

This little poem is simple and true and idealistic. And really something I want to model my life after. But sometimes, even though I know it’s true and makes sense, I don’t like it. Because “trying to be the poorest” sometimes just looks like making all the things I take for granted in my life super complicated. Like, maybe i shouldn’t buy clothes from stores that aren’t second hand, maybe i shouldn’t buy clothes at all for awhile, maybe i should set a tight budget, maybe i should spend more money on others instead of myself, maybe I should find cheap housing even if it’s in a rough neighborhood, maybe I should make the effort to recycle, maybe i should work less so that i can have more time to help others, maybe i should grow my own food or dumpster dive to save money, maybe I can’t afford health care, maybe I should bike more even when I don’t feel like it to save gas, maybe I should use the library more, maybe I’ll never have an iPhone, maybe I don’t even need this computer, maybe I should never have a TV again, maybe I should apply for food stamps, maybe I should take shorter showers, maybe I shouldn’t buy packaged products, maybe i don’t need most of things i think I do and it goes on and on and on. And I will drive myself absolutely nuts contemplating every little thing I do.
But that’s not all folks! Just wait, then there’s the guilt trip! I get mad, sad, and frustrated because I can’t do things I would like to do because they don’t match up with my gosh darn ideology and then I take it out on other people by being all holier-than-thou to make myself feel better for choosing a life of suffering. Which, when I remember Jesus said that a life of suffering is what we Christians should look forward to, it sounds so nice and simple I would almost expect to find it on a Hallmark card. But no, the ins and outs of carrying my cross are not so pretty and poetic. Then I’m all, “what’s so bad about being a hypocrite again?”

Dorothy Day writes my thoughts perfectly; “Daily, hourly, to give up our own possessions and especially to subordinate our own impulses and wishes to others-these are hard, hard things; and I don’t think they ever get any easier. You can strip yourself, you can be stripped, but still you will reach out like an octopus to seek your own comfort, your untroubled time, your ease, your refreshment.”

But Spirit ever-so-gently reminds my octopus-self and short-term memory that this is a beautiful way life and totally worth it. I rest easy and read and re-read this meditation by Juniper, friend of Francis and Fool of God:

“If I am truly poor, then I am dependent on others for everything, and I feel useless and worthless, and I realize deep within that everything is a gift from the Father. Then in this attitude of complete dependence, I become useful again, for then I am empty of selfishness and I am free to be God’s instrument instead of my own. In poverty I begin to value everything rightly again. I see how little really matters, and I see that only that which glorifies God is of value.
I write these words in pain, Lady Poverty, for I have wept bitter tears because I was poor and had to beg from others, and I felt like a burden to people and to God…And I have grown weary of Christ’s words not to worry about the tomorrow. But In His grace I have surrendered to God’s sovereignty and providence, and it has made me free…
Lady Poverty, I love you. You, my Lady, take all the sting from being poor. In your embrace I am rich indeed, for I have someone to love. I have you. Perhaps, my Lady, that is why I keep submitting, surrendering my desire to control my life, my need to provide for the future. You have stolen my heart and made me happy, and your love makes up for all the pain that loving you involves…and we know it is all worthwhile because when we look into your eyes, we see Christ Himself.”

And I love my poverty again.